To a degree, I think we are all procrastinators. Some of us are worse than others. Many just don’t want to face specific subjects or decisions. And while the latter may make you feel uncomfortable, the alternative is much worse. Emergencies force us to think quickly, make decisions and act (sometimes instinctively as well as boldly). Emergencies happen. That’s life. It could be an accident, or a natural disaster. Perhaps, your health takes an unexpected turn. If you are lucky, you get the opportunity to address those things left undone. If you aren’t, the wake of your emergency becomes a chaotic nightmare for loved ones. No matter your age, or your health, there are a few things that everyone should have just in case this scenario arises. Because sooner or later, the chickens usually do come home to roost.
To provide some insight into what you need, here’s a checklist to consider:
- Disaster Checklist, i.e. for coping with tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards, flooding, etc.
- A Will
- A Healthcare POA (Power of Attorney)
- A Financial POA
- Designated Caregiver (if needed)
- End of Life Planning, i.e. a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate), funeral arrangements, burial, cremation, etc.
Communication is vitally important. This is no time to be shy, or skittish. It is important that your family and friends know your wishes. In the event of an emergency or death, they will have a better idea of how to make decisions on your behalf. Since these decisions aren’t easy ones, the more information that you can provide ahead of time is essential. Make sure they know where to find the above documents, who your attorney is, your physician, your designated caregiver, etc.
Your needs, following an emergency, can vary. The type of care you may require can, too. These needs can range from the short-term assistance of a caregiver to a permanent skilled-nursing facility. When you discuss these topics with your family, it is easy to let your heart (and theirs) over-rule your mind. Do your best to make logical, practical decisions that will meet your needs and be feasible for family/friends to carry out. For example, if you need a short-term caregiver, you may instantly think of your adult child taking the Family Leave Act. But can he or she financially afford to do so? A better solution might be an In-Home Care Provider.
End of Life issues are difficult. Providing care, during this time, is a challenge for everyone involved — even your doctors. Beyond physical treatment, there are also the psychological and social issues of the patient to consider. These issues often times involve family members as well. Patients, in this stage, are dealing with a lot. Pain often drives their decision-making. Many are suffering from anxiety and/or depression. They are coping — not living. Some are better at this than others. They may long to be in control of their disease, their life, etc. And each, no matter their situation, deserves dignity. It isn’t easy on the patient, or those around him/her.
Last, but not least, remember that emergencies for lack of a better description are emotional roller-coasters. They can bring the best and the worst out, in each one of us –patients as well as loved ones. No two are ever the same. Emergencies vary. Experiences will vary. Patients vary. Needs, treatment, response, side-effects, etc., will too. And relationships also vary. Your sibling’s experience with a parent may not be yours. Parents often times raise children, differently. Age, divorce, abuse, changing social norms, gender, etc., can play a role in this. Still, it is feasible to have siblings with different experiences and feelings. Estrangements happen, for a multitude of reasons. So try to respect each other, at this time. Additional stress and tension won’t help anyone. Seek patience instead of hostility. Work together, if at all possible, for the good of the patient. And if someone needs space … help them to find it. This is both a family journey and a very personal one. For better or worse, both are traveled. May God bless …
*Photo by Brianna Santellan on Unsplash