When All Else Fails, Pray …

Often times, we wait until our situation is in dire straits before we pray. Why is that? Scripture doesn’t teach us to reserve prayer for such times. It encourages us to do just the opposite — continual prayer. So, why our hesitation? No doubt, the reasons are varied. Yet, prayer has proven time and again to be the answer. It’s even caught the eye of those in the medical community. In fact, research on the subject has nearly doubled in the last decade. And their results may surprise you!

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“Pray without ceasing.”      — 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJ21)

When a person engages in prayer, the body and mind change gears. Consider, for a moment, meditation (the Buddhist form of prayer). During meditation, the patient is in deep concentration. This triggers activity in the brain’s parietal lobe circuits — ones that control a person’s orientation of self and world. A relaxation envelopes the person. The limbic system is activated. This controls relaxation, the nervous system, heart rate and blood pressure. As a result, the person’s brain registers everything as emotionally significant. They are more relaxed. Strengthened. They feel better — inspired even. Prayer, no matter the religion, has similar effects on the body. Perhaps, it is our God-given ability to heal? And perhaps, it’s why Scripture encourages us to pray often?

Research tells us that traditional religious beliefs play a positive role in our health. Over 1,200 studies conducted on the effects of prayer, reveal that religious individuals lead healthier lives. These people are less likely to abuse alcohol, to smoke, etc. Other interesting study statistics include: 

  • The non-religious have an average hospital-stay that is three times longer than those who worship regularly.
  • Non-religious heart patients were 14 times more likely to die after surgery.
  • In Israel, the religious had a 40% lower death rate from cardiovascular disease and cancer.
  • People who are religious are less likely to suffer from depression. And when they do become depressed, they recover more quickly.

Today, some in the medical community consider prayer a part of CAM (Contemporary and Alternative Medicine). This is a combination of natural products, mind and body practices, etc. In easier terms, think dietary supplements, herbal remedies, prayer, meditation, relaxation and art therapies, chiropractic, massage, etc. But many remain skeptics. Research is still in its infancy, on the subject of prayer and healing. We have a lot to learn.

In my life, I have prayed for my own health as well as the health of others. I’ve witnessed amazing results and those that seemed slow to come. And I have never been disappointed. I’ve asked, “Why?” Who hasn’t? Sometimes, the unknown is the most frustrating aspect to deal with. Still, I know the Lord has been very good to me. Along the way, prayer has taught me many things. I’ve embraced humility. I’ve learned patience and experienced a deeper relationship with the Almighty. All positive. All helpful. Once, following a critical health situation, I actually had a doctor tell me to “Thank the man upstairs”. Little did he know, I already had. And I continue to do so.

Prayer may not sound like the answer. But, in our most desperate times, do we really know what is? Or do we simply want to be heard? Healed? Relieved? To a few, it may sound downright silly. To believers, it makes perfect sense. When we struggle with our worst fears, I think we are like a lost lamb … scared … crying out … in need. And, thankfully, the Good Shepherd can hear us. He answers our call.

 

 

Reference Links:

https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/can-prayer-heal#1

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/alternative-medicine/art-20045267

https://www.mja.com.au/journal/2007/186/10/prayer-medicine-how-much-have-we-learned

https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/5/6/e007345

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/05/07/power-of-prayer/70943182/

*Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

 

 

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Motherhood & Chronic Illness

I once saw a t-shirt that read “Motherhood: It’s more than a job, it’s an adventure!” And I had to buy that shirt. If you’re a mother, you understand why. Sometimes, I think we don’t fully appreciate our mothers until we become one. There is nothing easy about the detail. Motherhood is fascinating and scary … fun and frustrating … rewarding and overwhelming. Yet, I wouldn’t have traded the experience for the world. Some of my most treasured memories in life involve my child. When I look at him, today, I beam with pride. I did a good job, despite my Chronic illness. Though, back in those early years, I often wondered if I was measuring-up. Or if, heaven forbid, he was getting short-changed. 

 

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Let’s be honest; shall we? Motherhood is demanding. Chronic illnesses are, too. And, sometimes, what we want to do conflicts with what our bodies will let us do. Try explaining that to a toddler.

As mothers, we take care of our children. That’s the job. And it’s a 24/7 duty. When we are sick, our responsibility as a mother doesn’t magically go away. It’s still there — packing a lot of guilt. You learn quickly to have a “Plan B”, because that beats doing nothing at all. Think of it as a negotiation, between your condition and motherhood. For example, it’s a snow day. The flakes are falling. And your little one is just dying to play in it. A part of you wants to go, too. Unfortunately, you are aching … stiff … or worse. Reserve such times, for snuggling under a warm blanket … reading a stack of books … or watching a favorite DVD. Maybe, you can even pop some popcorn or make some s’mores (fireplaces do come in handy)? This too is quality time. Sledding can be done with Dad, or cousins. In a day or two, you might even feel like joining in the frosty fun. Until then, be patient. Make the best of the situation. Enjoy every moment — even if it isn’t your “Plan A”.

If you manage your Chronic illness, it will provide you with the best results for living life to the fullest — including motherhood. So, please, keep your appointments with your doctor. Take your medications. Eat healthy. Exercise. Yes, changes in your routine and/or your child’s will take some getting used to. That’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up about it. As strange as it may sound, our children learn from us even when we are sick. If we neglect our health, we send a negative message that tells them it’s okay to neglect theirs. When we take care of ourselves, we send a positive message. That’s a good thing.

Kids understand what “feeling bad” means. They understand terms like “hurt” and “tired”. And they will ask questions. When your child becomes inquisitive about your Chronic illness, be honest with them. Brief answers are usually best, for younger children. So, keep it simple. Teens are capable of understanding more. Then, of course, there is the internet where your child may read anything about your illness (factual or not). Prepare yourself for that, too. Help them find reputable resources online that can provide the best information. Talk openly. It’s good for them and you.

Last, but not least, stay positive. Optimism is key to managing any Chronic illness. It’s good for your health as well as your child’s. Kids aren’t as naive as we’d like to think they are. Our children pick-up on our emotions. If we show fear, they become afraid. If we are depressed, they too can show signs of depression. So, live fearlessly. Live strongly. Live fully. Chronic illness isn’t who we are. It’s just part of the package. We are women. We are mothers. And we are blessed. Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

Reference Links:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2017/03/03/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-your-serious-illness/?utm_term=.f8f4df873208

https://www.fmcpaware.org/why-does-mommy-hurt.html

http://www.igliving.com/magazine/articles/IGL_2013-08_AR_Chronically-Ill-Parents-Helping-Children-Cope.pdf

http://www.copmi.net.au/parents/helping-my-child-and-family/talking-about-mental-illness

https://www.nccn.org/patients/resources/life_with_cancer/talk_to_children.aspx

https://www.accu-chek.com/life/explaining-diabetes-to-your-children

http://talkaboutit.org/how-talk-your-kids-about-your-epilepsy-roger-cross-wendy-miller-phd-rn

https://www.webmd.com/rheumatoid-arthritis/features/ra-explaining-pain#1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23510498

*Photo of the author & her son at an airshow, Myrtle Beach AFB, 1992.

 

 

This Little Light Of Mine …

When I think back to my early childhood, I remember learning this song in Vacation Bible School. I was all of three or four years old. I still remember singing it in front of the congregation. Our teacher had instructed us to hold up our “pretend candles” aka one finger, as we sang. And at 59, I still find this simple little tune to be incredibly uplifting. I think most Christians can relate, which is why I chose it to discuss living with Chronic illness. Sometimes, we allow our diseases to distract us … hold us back … even consume us. If you live with one, you know what I mean. It happens all too often. But, for a moment, let’s focus on making the most of every day … every week … every year. Let’s consider living our lives to the fullest and letting our light really shine!

 

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  “In the same way, let your light shine before others …” — Matthew 5:16 (NIV)

First, accept that change is inevitable. It isn’t your fault that you’re sick. You didn’t ask for it to happen, or want it. But here you are. Your willingness to help yourself is your choice. Making changes to your lifestyle is also your choice. No one can do it for you. And, I know — it’s hard enough just living with your disease. The beauty here is that making changes allows you to feel a measure of control, in what often feels like an uncontrollable situation. And no matter what it specifically entails, change isn’t a bad thing. It’s just different. Healthier even. So, consider what you need to change in order to manage your disease. You might even want to make a list, or keep a journal. Then, take action. Perhaps, you are adding a form of therapy? Maybe, exercise? Or a diet? Your schedule may need some adjustments. You may need to ask for help. By all means, do so. That’s what support systems are for. Talk to your doctor. Stay realistic. Change won’t happen overnight. And patience is a necessity with any Chronic illness. But, slowly, make those changes at a pace that is comfortable for you. Think of it as laying the foundation for your future.

Second, don’t be afraid to set goals or dream. Yes, you have a Chronic illness. But you also have a life. It isn’t over. It’s changing; remember? Despite your diagnosis, you still have interests … pursuits of happiness. We all do. There are things that are gratifying like our careers. And others that we have longed to experience. Perhaps, you’d like to learn a new hobby? Enter a golf tournament? Get more involved in your community or an organization? Maybe, there’s a promotion that you’d like to accept? Or a destination calling your name? While the sky may not be the limit, there are a lot of options available. So, talk to your doctor. A well-managed Chronic illness will allow you to live life to the fullest. You’ll be happier, healthier, more productive, etc. Now, you’re building on that foundation.

Third, stay optimistic. I know it isn’t always easy. Some are naturally pessimistic. Thankfully, optimism can be learned. And, to be honest, it should be. This is one habit that we all can benefit from. Studies have proven, time and again, that optimism plays a positive role on our physical and mental health. Here are a few easy ways to be more optimistic:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others in a competitive way. We’re all unique.
  • Think positive thoughts.
  • Look for the good, even in difficult situations. Silver linings do exist.
  • Focus on positive outcomes. Don’t face a challenge expecting defeat.
  • Consider your own beliefs. What is your definition of purpose? Of life?
  • Strive to improve your health. When you feel better, you are more optimistic.
  • Challenge your mind every day, by learning something new. It helps to provide personal satisfaction.

Last but not least … I can attest that every change that I’ve made, either to my lifestyle or surroundings, has yielded positive results. This includes a couple of things that I was initially very skeptical about. While there are no guarantees in life, not mine or yours, there are options. Live fully and let your light shine!

 

 

Reference Links:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/turning-straw-gold/201509/20-tips-living-well-chronic-pain-and-illness

Intensive lifestyle change: It works, and it’s more than diet and exercise

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/ServicesAndSupport/managing-long-term-illness-and-chronic-conditions

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/21st-century-aging/201212/keeping-positive-outlook-when-dealing-chronic-illness

https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=4511

*Photo by Frank McKenna on Unsplash

Great Is Thy Faithfulness …

When life is going well, it’s easy to profess one’s faith. I have heard many do so. And, for the record, I do not doubt their sincerity. They are describing their spiritual journey, thus far. But the real test of faith for anyone comes through difficulties in life. Hardship. Suffering.

God promises us many things. He keeps each and every one. But an all-inclusive membership into some “comfort club” isn’t one of them. Christianity isn’t that. It never has been. In Scripture, He actually warns us of the hard times that will eventually find their way into our lives (John 16:33) and of His own discipline (Hebrews 12:7). Christianity isn’t easy. But it is fulfillment in life … a deeper understanding … a walk with God. And, like the trials we face, it transforms us … molds us … into something greater (Philippians 1:6). The Lord sees to that.

 

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     “I have chosen the way of faithfulness …”  — Psalm 119:30 (NIV)

 

Sometimes as we struggle with a Chronic illness, or watch a loved one do so, it’s difficult to see a reason or worthwhile purpose. It’s hard to imagine that any measure of good can ever come from it. Yet, the Apostle Paul tells us that it’s possible for good to come from horrific things (Romans 8). Imagine that.

Our suffering may seem too long, or unnecessary. We may wonder, “Why, Lord?” Doubts may eat away at us. That’s not unusual. We are all human. And fear is a powerful thing. Still, we wait … we pray … we trust. We cling to our faith, because we believe that God keeps His promises. When it would be easy to ask, “Why me?”, we know the more correct question is “Why not me?” No matter how difficult, or how long the road may be, we are not alone. The Lord is with us. We will get through it … each of us … because great is our faithfulness.

 

Reference Links:

*Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash.

The Greatest Of These Is Love …

We usually talk about Chronic illnesses and treatment, management, awareness, etc. But, for a moment, let’s talk about others effected by the disease — family and especially caregivers. 

No matter the patient’s age, or the specific illness involved, a Chronic condition effects more than one. Family members must also cope. Some may worry about genetic factors. Others may feel guilty, if they live far away. A few may have difficulty accepting the diagnosis at all. Caregivers, God bless them, are juggling everything — the needs of the patient, the family, doctor visits, medications, work, etc.

It isn’t unusual for a caregiver’s life to be drastically changed, by their new role. Some will put their careers on hold — hoping for a return to normalcy in a short time. Others literally see their professional careers end, as the role of caregiver consumes every minute of their day. Many allow their own health and well-being to go on the back-burner. This often creates additional health issues (for the caregiver). Weeks turn into months … then into years. It takes a toll. The caregiver finds himself or herself doing things they had never imagined doing, i.e. administering shots, buying diapers for a parent, protecting the patient’s rights, or watching a child suffer with pain. There is nothing easy about being a caregiver. It is a very mentally, physically and emotionally challenging role. And previous experience in no way means that you are adequately prepared for being a caregiver, again. Each patient, each illness, is different. 

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“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” —             1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV

Twice, in my life, I have had the privilege of being a caregiver. I use the word “privilege”, because in some ways it was rewarding, i.e. close-knit talks, deepened relationships, special moments, etc. It was also highly stressful and at times downright scary. My first experience as a caregiver was for my father, 1989-1990, as he battled cancer. The second for my mother, in 2008, when she battled cancer.

Despite the common denominator, they were two vastly different experiences. My father was terminally ill, upon diagnosis, with lung cancer. He ate anything that he wanted and pretty much did anything he wanted, until his death. No medications to administer (seriously). No use of oxygen (seriously). His radiation treatments also went well. He truly lived every moment of life to the fullest. We should all be so lucky. I realize that, now. But at the time, I lived in high anxiety of what might happen. My mother was just the opposite. With Mom, everything that could go wrong … did go wrong. I charted over 20 medications, daily. She had every unusual side-effect to chemotherapy that a patient could have. No nausea or hair-loss (seriously). In the end, she was beating the cancer but succumbed to the worst of these side-effects (a pulmonary embolism or blood-clot). It was frustrating and heart-wrenching. The last thing that she asked of me was to sing. So, I sang … and sang … as she drifted into an unconscious state … gasping for every breath. I would rest for a couple of hours and start singing again … tears streaming down my cheeks.  Then, I’d pause … pray hard … and sing some more. This went on for 10 days. And by the grace of God, I managed. I was with her, voice and all, till the end.

If you know a caregiver, then you know the love that he or she so unselfishly gives. You may know a few of the burdens that they are carrying, i.e. responsibilities to the patient, their family, their job, etc. You may even know some of their fears. So, please, let them know that you care. Offer to sit with the patient, for a couple of hours. Ask if there is an errand that you can do for them, i.e. pharmacy, supermarket, etc. Drop by with a warm casserole for dinner. It may sound silly, but you’ve just taken a task off of their “to-do” list. You have lightened their load and offered support. Many caregivers will never ask for any help. They have their reasons. And, often times, they will neglect themselves before they do. But you can give them the little boost that keeps them going. Because without that caregiver, rest assured, things would be much worse.  So, give them a break … a hug … show your appreciation … share some love. They need it, as much as the patient does!

 

Reference Links:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/caregiver-stress/art-20044784

https://caregiveraction.org/resources/10-tips-family-caregivers

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/taking-care-yourself-tips-caregivers

https://www.stoptheclot.org/about-clots/faqs/faq-blood-clots-cancer/

Fishing For Our Youth …

My uncle used to love to fish. Even when his body was struggling with Chronic illness and he needed a walker to steady himself, he found a way to go fishing. I asked him, once, “What are you fishing for?” I suspected trout, walleye, or crappie. Maybe, catfish. All were common in the waters of Missouri. With a sly grin and a chuckle, he replied, “My youth!”

For those living with Osteoarthritis, or OA, life may feel like one long fishing trip … day after day … week after week … searching … fishing for their youth. The aging process happens to all of us. Some more quickly than others. One day, we are in our prime. The next, we’re getting a certain card in the mail — officially labeling us as “Seniors”. And while we ponder how time took advantage of us … fooled us … turned us into silver versions of our former selves, we must also deal with what it has done to our bodies. Age plays a significant role in many health issues, including OA.

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Osteoarthritis affects about 27M Americans and globally 300M. It is a degenerative joint disease and the most common Chronic illness of the joints. Although people of any age can get OA, it’s usually diagnosed in those over age 65. It is also the leading cause of disability in Seniors. But, please, don’t panic. Every case is different. Most patients will not require joint replacement surgery, in their lifetime. Some will. And while there is no way to reverse the damage done by the disease, there are ways to help OA patients live better.

If you have been recently diagnosed with Osteoarthritis, your Rheumatologist will discuss treatment as well as lifestyle changes with you, i.e. losing weight, reducing your cholesterol, regular exercise, eating healthier choices, medications, etc. As with any Chronic illness, your mindset is extremely important in dealing with OA. Optimism isn’t always easy, especially if you are battling pain and mobility issues. Some days, you may feel pretty overwhelmed. But hang in there. Be patient. Make some changes. You are worth it. You might even be surprised at what you can accomplish … enjoy … and share with others. No, you can’t reel in your youth. None of us are that lucky. But you can feel better … have less pain … be happier … and continue to stay active. And like the millions who are taking this approach, you can enjoy living!

 

 

Reference Links:

https://www.rheumatology.org/I-Am-A/Patient-Caregiver/Diseases-Conditions/Osteoarthritis

https://www.arthritis.org/about-arthritis/types/osteoarthritis/what-is-osteoarthritis.php

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/osteoarthritis/symptoms-causes/syc-20351925

https://www.arthritisresearchuk.org/arthritis-information/q-and-a/living-with-arthritis/hobbies/does-flying-and-cabin-pressure-affect-oa.aspx

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322603.php

*Photo by William Malott on Unsplash

Consider His Footprints In Your Life …

Most Christians have heard of the prose “Footprints In The Sand”, written by Mary Stevenson in the 1930’s. They may own a copy. It has appeared on many plaques, mugs, t-shirts, etc., over the years. It’s authorship has even been debated. But, for a moment, let’s stick to the message of the poem — not marketing or legal wrangling. The poet reflecting upon her life, asks the Lord, why He wasn’t walking with her through the most difficult of times. And He responds, “The Times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”

Wow! For any Christian, those words are profound. Scripture teaches us, in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified … for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” But have you ever stopped to reflect upon how this verse applies to your life? Have you stopped to consider the times, as the poem describes, where just one set of footprints can be seen? How many times has the Lord carried you through the sand of life?

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For many, it’s easier to forget the worst of times than to reflect upon them. They stick the bad and ugly, in a tightly locked box … somewhere in the back of their memory … safe and out-of-the-way. It’s not that they aren’t grateful. It is how they cope. But when you live with a Chronic illness, the struggle can be overwhelming … frustrating … even depressing … for long periods of time. Most of these patients don’t have the luxury of tucking the worst of moments away and forgetting. They live with the initial struggle, daily. Then, there are complications that add to that struggle. The setbacks can seem endless. Scary. Lonely. At such times, even the most devout of Christians may wonder if the Lord has abandoned them.

Does the latter describe how you or a loved one is feeling? If it does, I encourage you to read Mary’s poem. Imagine your life as footprints in the sand — the Lord’s footprints right beside your own. Imagine that long stretch of beach. Sometimes, the sand is warm and enjoyable. The kind that you want to wiggle your toes in. Other times, it feels cold and hard. Unpleasant. Perhaps, it’s even painful to walk on? And then, if you will, consider how many times there was just one set of footprints. His footprints.

The Lord was there, in the worst of times. He has carried both you and me. Not just once or twice. His presence wasn’t fleeting, in our lives. He’s been there for us, many times — taking us through our trials and tribulations … rejoicing in our triumphs. Even when our faith was shaken, the Lord has been there every step of the way. And He will continue to be there … taking this journey called life with us … and carrying us if need be. His strength has lifted us … guided us through our darkest moments. He has answered our prayers … calmed our fears. We weren’t alone. We can see His footprints in the sand. When we needed him, He was with us. And He is with us, now. If you are like me, that knowledge will give you the courage to keep going … to keep walking … to keep fighting every hardship. Warmer sand lies ahead. He will get us there. May God Bless …

 

Reference Links:

http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php

*Photo by Christopher Sardegna on Unsplash